I wanted to say I’m sorry for taking your wife away from you. I thought it might help if you knew that I never gave her a choice. I mean, I couldn’t really. It’s my nature to just take what I want. I wanted her, and I took her.
If it helps, I’ll tell you a few secrets. Whenever she looks at you, she gets an overwhelming feeling of love and happiness. I mean, she literally feels a warmth in her chest, and she even still gets butterflies in her stomach. I can’t take that away from her. Trust me. I’ve tried. The point is, she loves you so much…
… loves you so much that it makes her feel even worse than she already does when she realizes I’m affecting you too. She realizes that she isn’t easy to get along with a lot of the time. She knows she snaps and gets angry a lot easier and more often than she should. She especially recognizes the fact that she takes things out on you that she wouldn’t take out on anyone else. It’s only because she’s more comfortable with you than she is with anyone… even herself… especially herself.
I just thought you’d want to know that I’m not here for you. I’m here to feed on her happiness and her life. When she considered going out with you tonight for New Year’s Eve, it terrified her to even think about being around all those people and having to force a smile when she knew she’d be fighting the urge to run the whole time. At the same time, she really wanted to do it for you. She hates that you’re tied to me like she is. She feels like she’s cheating you out of being able to have a happy wife who’s fun and goes places and does things with her husband. She hates what she’s done to you more than she hates what I’ve done to her.
She’s terrified she’s going to lose you someday. You do everything you can to make her smile and laugh, and you do a really good job. Even I can’t stop her from being happy around you most of the time. But deep deep down, she’s really scared. You’re the one thing in her life that’s holding her together, and she knows that you’re bound to get sick of me someday. For what it’s worth, I hope that doesn’t happen.
I’m not here, specifically, to hurt her, but I don’t know how to do anything else. She tries really hard to suppress me. For you. More than anything, for you. I give her a break every now and then, but I know it’s hard. So I just wanted to say I’m sorry if I stole the woman you married. She was great. She still is though, you know? She’s still in there, and she loves you more than life itself.
So please be patient. You’ve been so wonderful. You let her get angry, and you let her get sad. You hold her when she’s upset, and you make her get out of bed when I’ve convinced her it’s the only place to be. She’d be a mess if it wasn’t for you.
One day me and her are going to learn how to live together. We’re working on it. And when we do, she’s going to need you to spend time and have fun with again. She loves you so much. Don’t ever forget it.
My Most Sincere Apologies,
Your Wife’s Depression